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Age Difference in Relationships: How Much Is ‘Too Much’? Is age “just a number?” If you’re wondering whether an age difference could impact your relationship, this is for you. Share on Pinterest Oliver Rossi/Getty Images.

 

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In any relationship, you’ll have some qualities in common with your partner, while others — not so much. Some couples might find that a big age difference impacts their relationship significantly over time. Others may feel that what makes them compatible is more important than a gap in years. “Most of the couples I know say that they feel like they’re the same age,” says Dr. Loren Olson, a psychiatrist in Des Moines, Iowa. “We have a chronological age, a psychological age, a physical age, and a sexual age. Age gap couples frequently are compatible in the last three.” Even if you ’ re satisfied with your relationship, it’s possible to encounter some challenges with a large age difference. Confronting and problem-solving these challenges — which often have to do with outside judgment — could lead to even greater happiness in your partnership. This article discusses age differences in romantic relationships where both partners are above the legal age of consent in their state. If you’re below the age of consent and an adult’s behavior is making you feel uncomfortable, help is available. You can: Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 for confidential, 24/7 support. Visit Stop It Now! for online resources or reach out to their helpline at 888-773-8368 . Visit Childhelp for resources to handle and report abuse or to chat live with someone who can help. P.S. If both partners are above the legal age of consent, it doesn’t mean consent goes out the window. Asking for consent and being on the same page is key in any healthy romantic relationship. If your relationship has an above-average age difference, it might impact your connection in specific ways. Still, many of these effects aren’t unique to relationships with a large age gap, and communication is key for navigating differences in any partnership. Emotional maturity. “Even if the age gap is small, like 4 to 5 years, different levels of maturity can be observed,” says Brandy Porche, a licensed professional counselor with MindPath. “When there is a significant difference in age, like 10 to 15 years or more, life experiences can be vastly different.” In relationships with a large emotional maturity gap, the more mature partner could end up carrying a heavier emotional load in the relationship, leading to exhaustion and potentially a breakup. Being the older partner doesn’t guarantee emotional maturity, just like being younger doesn’t always mean you’re less mature. People sometimes conflate age with emotional maturity because more years can mean more time to form complex perspectives through exposure to different experiences. Priorities. “The bigger the gap between partners, the more likely the relationship will struggle with phase-of-life related challenges,” says GinaMarie Guarino, a licensed mental health counselor and founder of PsychPoint. She explains that these challenges might include differences in: health energy levels life priorities plans to start a family. Having different priorities isn’t exclusive to relationships with large age gaps. In any relationship, it’s key to discuss each person’s priorities and hopes for the future as a part of determining your compatibility if you’re looking for a long-term relationship. End-of-life concerns. Guarino highlights that people in relationships with big age differences may face more concerns about the longevity of the older partner. The younger partner may fear being left alone when the older partner passes. Communicating with each other about these feelings can be an important part of processing them. Guarino points out that making arrangements ahead of time can also provide some reassurance to the younger partner. “If one partner passes, the other partner knows they are taken care of and what their next steps are,” she explains.

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