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Dating a married man


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Article about dating a married man:

How do you keep the relationship going without getting hurt? We give you 7 tips. 7 Ways To Date A Married Man Without Getting Hurt.

 

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You did not ever plan to date a married man, but one day at a common friend’s place you meet this man who was alone but married and the two of you spent a long time together chatting and sharing. You go back home knowing he is off-limits but feel a strong attraction to him and don’t know what to do about it. The next morning, he sends you an innocent message, and before you know it, you are chatting with this married man who is stealing your heart a little more every day. Chats and conversations are still innocent. He asks you out on a casual date but your feelings for him have gone way beyond casual. He has become a habit and no amount of wisdom or self-counseling can keep you away from this married man, you are head-over-heels in love. To be honest, this relationship can not have a happy ending. Someone or the other will get hurt as a result of your relationship with a married man. In all probability, all three of you: you, the other woman, his wife, and he himself. If there are kids in the equation, then they too will suffer because of this relationship. But we are sure that you already know this and yet are unable to do anything about this prince charming who has come into your life. Since you are already dating him, we will help you figure a way to control the damage to yourself. Remember not to make him the center of your universe because when it ends – and believe us it will – you should have enough avenues to take so that your life can go back to normalcy after what will be a terrible and painful heartbreak. You must have something and someone to fall back on. Make sure before you go any further whether it really is love or just a mid-life crisis in your life. If a married man is serious about you, he will shield you from all the mess in his life and initiate the separation process early on. He will take you out for coffee, have dinner with you, but will not coerce or bully you into having a physical relationship with him unless he is divorced and you are comfortable. However, when emotions are involved, relationships don’t always follow the ideal trajectory. It’s possible that you may start seeing a married man long before he has sorted out things on the marital front. If you do, it’s imperative to protect your feelings and not get sucked in too deep. How exactly? We bring you some ways of dating a married man without getting hurt in consultation with emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney), who specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief and loss, to name a few. How To Date A Married man. Table of Contents. Alas, sometimes we cannot see the rationale and race headfirst into situations and connections that cause us pain and anguish. By now we are sure your close friends or other confidants have also warned you regarding the consequences of an affair with a married man and you have tried your best to save yourself from it too. “Dating a married man is a waste of time,” your well-wishers may have told you. But you’re stuck in the ‘the heart wants what it wants’ phase, and don’t see the red flags – whether it is the signs a married man is using you or the emotional baggage that comes with dating a married man who is separated. The fact that you are reading this means you are now beyond that point of being pragmatic about this situation. However, this doesn’t change the fact that the psychological effects of being the other woman can be daunting. So, it’s vital that you find ways to not let this connection, no matter how exciting or fulfilling it feels right now, take a toll on your mind and heart. We bring to you a few rules which you must follow to protect yourself in whatever way you can now that you are in a relationship with a married man. Here are a few pointers on how to date a married man and be happy: 1. Take it slow. It may be difficult to ignore the sexual tension building up and not take it to the next level, but taking things at a slower pace will give you time to get to know him better. You will get time to judge whether his feelings for you are real or if he is just bored in his marriage and using an affair with you just to spice things up a bit. You must know whether it is just about scoring and boasting to his friends (you know men do that right?) or whether he genuinely cares about you. Taking things slow will unravel his true motive, if his goal is just to bed you, he may get tired of the wait and go on to the next catch. Even if it is touching, hugging or kissing, do not let him feel that he can have a physical relationship with you without connecting with you on an emotional level. Ensure the relationship is not just about sex. If he pushes you to consent to having sex with him when you’re not ready, make no mistake that it is one of the biggest signs a married man is using you and you need to get out as soon as possible. Eventually, it will hurt less if he simply chooses to end the relationship because you are taking too long or you opt-out because you see the warning signs. The easiest way out of dating a married man is if the relationship ends sooner rather than later. 2. Observe if you have any non-sexual chemistry with him. How to date a married man? Apart from the butterflies in the stomach, figure out if you have other non-physical compatibilities. Is he fun to be around even when you guys are not touchy and feely? Do you feel comfortable around him? Can you confide in him? Do you share the same values and principles? What about his lifestyle? Answers to questions like these will help you understand if you have something other than sex to connect on. After all, how long can a relationship last if it’s based just on sex? Can he devour wine like you and sit and talk about the movies for hours? Does he enjoy the things that you enjoy doing like cooking, traveling, gardening and reading? “People only think of romance as physical love. However, it does involve a lot of humor, camaraderie, and more. If you’re unsure about the future of your relationship with a married man, the ability to have a great time together, other than sex, can be a good scale to measure how well suited you are as partners,” says Pooja. Before you get physical with him, listen to what your heart says. Do you feel like hugging him? Can you stare into each other’s eyes as lovers? Does he seduce you with his touch? If the answer is yes, you do have sexual chemistry or sexual compatibility with him for sure, but that alone will not make your relationship last. Make sure you know what you are getting into. 3. If he tells you he will divorce his wife, ask him when. It’s one thing to be dating a married man who is separated, but if you’re in a relationship with someone who is not just married on paper but also still with his wife, you must tread cautiously. A married man is likely to tell you a sob story – how his wife has changed over the years, how the marriage happened in a jiffy, how she does not understand him and much more. We are not saying that all married men use these stories to get into an extramarital affair, but you will find that they almost always express issues in their marriage to convince you that they are not happy, hence, the attraction toward you. Most of the time this is the furthest from the truth. Ask him for a timeline of what his plans are about how to exit his marriage.

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