How to find a boyfriend

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Taking in the faint fragrance of cologne as you hug your boyfriend? Or just having someone to make you feel connected and safe. If you long for a boyfriend but seem to be having trouble getting one, read...

 

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How to Get a Boyfriend. This article was co-authored by Jessica Engle, MFT, MA. Jessica Engle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She founded Bay Area Dating Coach in 2009, after receiving her Master's in Counseling Psychology. Jessica is also a licensed Marriage &amp, Family Therapist and Registered Drama Therapist with over 10 years of experience. This article has been viewed 6,756,597 times. Being single isn't for everyone. Taking in the faint fragrance of cologne as you hug your boyfriend? Or just having someone to make you feel connected and safe. If you long for a boyfriend but seem to be having trouble getting one, read this article for some helpful hints to get you on your way to finding true love (and a nice, warm cuddle partner). If you’re looking to find a boyfriend and build a great connection, read on. Join a club, community class, or activity group. You can play a sport you like, take an art class at your local community center, or join a study group. Find something that appeals to you and you will instantly be meeting people that you have something in common with so you have something to talk about. Go out to clubs (adult or all-ages clubs, depending on what you prefer) and start talking with new people there. Just be careful and practice common sense. [1] X Research source Find a group on the Internet that appeals to you. This can be a fan forum for a show or activity you like or maybe a multiplayer video game that you find fun. However, make sure you don't share your personal details online with anyone you don't know. Ask for a recommendation: “Hey, what do you think is the best coffee shop around here?” Bring up something from his profile: “Your dog is adorable. How old is he?” Find out what he likes to do in his free time: “Are you up to anything fun this weekend?” Start up a playful debate: “Thoughts on putting pineapple on pizza?” Is he funny? Smart? Nice? Decide what is important to you and gauge these things during your initial conversation. If he seems totally different than what you're looking for, it's not worth it just because he's hot. Try to dig below the surface. Jessica Engle, the director of Bay Area Dating Coach, tells us: "A lot of people get stuck just talking about work or school. It's great to transition into deeper questions like, 'What are you looking forward to this year?' or 'Who's somebody in your life that you really admire?'" Usually, if you hit it off and have a lot of fun together, the friendship will grow on its own into more frequent visits. Try not to be that person who looks too desperate, you don't need to decide that he is your future husband within the first week of meeting him. Show him the best parts of who you are! Let him get to know you. Have your limits (a guy worth dating will be okay with that), but don't be afraid to try new things. Does he listen to a band you've never heard of, or never bothered to listen to? Give it a try, you might like them! If you put forth the effort and create a genuine opinion, even if it (respectfully) differs from his, it can at least give you something to talk about. Say you've got an extra seat if he'd like to join you for lunch. Smile and wave at him when you see each other across a room or talking with friends. Be nice to other people too. Show him that you're the kind of person that anyone can come and talk to. However, you shouldn't be nice to people just so he'll date you. Try to be a kinder person in general. Talking about politics, religion, your childhood and family, as well as your experiences in school and your hopes for the future will tell you a lot about who he is as a person. Let him know you're interested in his personal life, but don't invade his privacy. It can be hard to get information like this without simply asking him. Try the old-fashioned method of asking around. Mutual friends may have more details. His friends may even be willing to help, if they want to see him in a relationship and they think well of you. Be open to the idea of just being friends. Guy friends are awesome too! It is important to flirt with the guys you are interested in. Don't flirt with every guy if you're only interested in a few, you may give off mixed signals. Remember: don't be condescending, push unwanted advice and help, or try to change him into what you want him to be. Helping him to be his best self is about helping him make the changes that he wants in his life, not turning him into what you want him to be. If his grades are low and he struggles in school, set up a time to spend together studying and tutor him in subjects where you do better than he does. Don't do his work for him, but help him to realize that he can do it on his own and develop good study habits. If he has trouble holding down or finding a job, help him by showing the importance of good work habits or helping him look for a job. Offer to go with him to workshops for writing or building resumes, talk with him about ways that he could learn to enjoy work more, or help him find a job that he would be more interested in going to every day. It is especially important not to criticize him in public or in front of his friends or family. Be cautious, however, that he's not asking you to change something he shouldn't be. If you're concerned, ask a friend what they think. Never be afraid of being totally honest about your likes and dislikes. Let him know what you think about issues and don't just agree with everything he says. One of the reasons that many guys avoid relationships is because they feel it will trap them or keep them from doing things they like to do. Show him that if he's with you, this will not be the case. [4] X Research source. He might also be shy, so he might not be the one to approach, either because he thinks you're out of his league or because he fears you might reject him. Send a cute text to show you appreciate him: “Everyone must be wondering why I’m smiling at my phone rn 😊” Ask a genuine question to start a deeper conversation: “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done?” Try sending him a sweet goodnight text or good morning message: “I wish I could stay up all night talking to you. Sweet dreams ❤️” If you break up, be gentle about it. Try not to hurt his feelings any more than you have to, and be respectful of him even after you guys are done. Nobody wants to date a heartbreaker. You Might Also Like. ↑https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a2944/metting-people-dating/ ↑https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201208/take-it-slow-if-you-want-your-relationship-last ↑https://centerstone.org/our-resources/health-wellness/six-simple-secrets-of-great-relationships/ ↑https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-true-love/201902/eight-common-fears-men-have-making-commitment ↑https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201108/dont-dumb-yourself-down-attract-somebody. About This Article. To get a boyfriend, put yourself out there by doing activities you enjoy. You can take a class you’ve always been interested in, go to a fun event with your friends, or bring your dog to a dog park. By getting out there and doing things, you’ll be more likely to meet new guys. Let your friends and family know you’re interested in dating so they can set you up with anyone they think you’d hit it off with. Remember to act confident when you’re around guys, even if you’re feeling nervous, since most guys are attracted to confidence. Smile, stand up straight, and wear clothes you feel great in. If there’s someone you really like, don’t be afraid to ask him out on date. He might be into you too!

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