to make friends online

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Article about to make friends online:

To make friends online. Social Anxiety. Why You Should Make Friends Online.

 

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If you have a hard time making friends because of social anxiety, then an online friendship might be the best way to go about it. Let’s go through 4 reasons you should make friends online if you have social anxiety. I’ve had a lifelong struggle with making friends. I mean, being a home-schooled kid that travelled the world to play professional tennis is not a normal thing to do – and when you’re a kid or a teenager, normal is the way to go. Looking back, instead of venting and sharing my secrets with my friends, I’d write journal after journal, filled to the brim. I can probably pull out 10 filled handwritten journals, chronicling my days as a pre-teener and teenager, but everything changed once I found the online blogging world. I started blogging about my drama around 16, and I guess I never stopped (except I like to think I’ve evolved from gossiping about boys). Looking back at my posts and written journal entries, I was one lonely girl . The common thread throughout all those years was my strong need to connect with people, but never knowing how. At some point, I realized that using the platforms I spent time on was the perfect way to make friends online. Here’s why: Online, you can be yourself without consequences. You don’t have to ACTUALLY go out and socialize with them. You can read their blog (or thoughts) and get to know them at a much deeper level than you otherwise would in real life (potentially). If you realize the friendship isn’t moving forward, you don’t have to feel bad about “quitting” their blog (aka Ghosting). You quickly realize who you like and don’t like by reading their thoughts. Since I’ve started sharing pieces of myself publicly and making content to help people, I’ve been more inclined to meet online people offline, mostly because I now realize how difficult it is to find people in the “real world” to connect with . I understand why I can’t connect with the people on my street. And interestingly enough, because of the international moves I’ve made throughout my life, most of my relationships are long-distance. Rarely do I get to meet up with friends in real life, so the only way to keep my relationships strong is to invest in them online. But this article is not about that. It’s about using the online space as a starting point to make friends. Especially if, like me, you live a non-conforming life that deviates from what “normal” looks like making it harder to connect with the people around you. But also if you have social anxiety. For those with social anxiety, the best first step to navigating social situations is to make friends online and progress from there. 5 Quick Ways To Manage Your Social Anxiety. There’s no substitute for effort, but you can speed up the process if you understand and take these 5 ways seriously. This is your starter pack, what you do with it is up to you. Times have certainly changed, haven’t they? For the older generations, this is probably unacceptable, although if we look back at the past few decades, everyone should have seen this coming. With the advent of social media, dating apps, remote work, and Zoom meetings (too many of them!), is it any wonder that distance isn’t a factor when building positive and fulfilling relationships? Also, let’s not forget that we’ve gone through a pandemic, which has significantly shifted our online/offline behaviour. I’d even go as far as saying that meeting people online is just the norm now. Whether people move from online to offline socializing is still up for discussion, but overall, we’ve normalized making friends and finding partners online. 14% of people that meet on a dating app eventually get engaged or married, and 57% of teenagers have made a new friend online (this number is from 2015, so you can imagine how much higher it is right now with Gen Z overtaking all social platforms). For those with social anxiety, meeting new people online helps them handle it more confidently. As a social anxiety coach, these two areas of difficulty are the most on my radar: making friends and having conversations. If you have social anxiety, you’ll most likely complain about being unable to do these things at the level you (and society) expect. This is where the online world becomes a great playground you can experiment in. Let’s walk through 2 scenarios, and you can let me know which one you feel more comfortable with: In the first scenario, a friend invites you to a party/event and decides to go. After all, avoiding social outings will only worsen your anxiety, so you make a point to leave the house. You might know a person or two there, enough to get you going, but the moment you arrive, you feel out of place. People are off in groups, your friend is doing their hosting thing, and you’re left stranded trying to make small talk. The horror! If you haven’t gone by now, you’re brave. Conversations are superficial, people are talking about things you’re not interested in, and you’re unsure what to say. Your social anxiety rises, and you tell yourself, “Never again!”. At this point, you’ll probably enter what I call the “avoidance loop.” The “avoidance loop” happens when you want to stay in your comfort zone (home alone), but the longer you stay there, the harder it is to show up confidently again. Chances are, based on this scenario, it’s not an experience you’re excited to run into again. Now, here’s the second scenario: You join an online community of people who love gaming and meet weekly on a discord channel (you can also substitute this with any social platform you’re on and the bubble you find yourself in). Y ou “run” into the same people weekly and get to know them quickly. You’re not forced to make conversation, and you certainly don’t need to befriend them, but your social anxiety is manageable. You’re not placed on the spot to answer questions, you don’t have to worry about how much eye contact you’re making (or not), and you certainly don’t have to think about what they think about you. The best part? You feel comfortable talking to them and make genuine friendships with people who get you. Your confidence starts to pick up, and you’re excited about meeting them in real life. You don’t even think twice about whether or not your social anxiety will show up. You don’t have to take risks and can feel more relaxed about being judged. You’ll still feel some social anxiety, but it’s much less, so you can form relationships you might not have been able to in person.